[Max hasn't considered the usage of the word "friend" since... well, in a very long time. People only tend to die if they become associated with him. He doesn't want any friends.
[He doesn't sound at all put out about that, he has already long deduced that Max is deeply troubled and needs help, so most things he says just roll off Al like water from a duck's back.]
Or, at least, you're my friend even if I'm not yours. That's not really a decision you get to make for me. I like you, and I worry about you because I want you to be safe.
[There was a lengthy pause of silence over the line. Then the sound of Max shifting around, rearranging his weight entirely. (An awkward motion, were it visible, as if avoiding.) What was up with this kid?]
Easier just to ignore you.
[And it would be. Except, perhaps, if Glory opposed. But he tended to ignore the voice of the dead as much as possible, too.]
[The question is deceptively mild. Al believes that Max, somewhere deep down, does want to have friends and allies. If he truly had no wish for it, and it was easier to ignore others, then why hadn't he before now?]
[Well to be fair he meant to hang up on Al. Unfortunately, Max could disconnect all he wanted from a phone call but he couldn't block text or audio messages completely from his tablet. Even if it was an option he didn't know how to do it.]
Enough!
[It's a sharp bark. For the first time his tone truly revealing how feral he could be.]
[It doesn't surprise him, not with the clues Max has already given about how broken he is under the surface, and nor does it scare him. It just makes him more determined to help if he can, because this kind of pain in someone else makes him ache inside.]
No, it's not enough.
[His voice get a little gentler, as if soothing a spooked animal.]
I don't know why it scares you to be cared about, but you can't stop it just by pushing me away. I'm going to worry about you, and I'm going to try and help you if I can, because you are my friend even if I'm not yours.
[His heart twists in his chest. Poor Max, how many people must he have loved and lost to think that any friend is doomed to die and haunt him? Al's voice gets even gentler, sympathy throbbing through every word.]
Max, I promise I won't die. I've got too much to do to let myself die before it gets done... besides, my brother would never let me live it down if I died and left him alone.
[His voice was calmer now but it kept its hard edge. This wasn't a warning or threat but an observation. Sometimes it was just better not to make a promise when it couldn't be kept.]
[He sighs, but he's not going to back down. Years of arguing with Ed, and determinedly forging forwards towards a seemingly impossible goal, has made Al completely stubborn in situations like this.]
I won't let myself die, don't you feel that way? Survival is the only option. Don't you think you can make promises to survive if your will is strong enough?
[It takes all his self control to ask this question calmly, instead of giving into the irritation and fear rising in his chest. Max is so hopeless, it truly terrifies Al.]
[He isn't going to argue the promise any more, he'll dial it back a little and try for baby steps.]
Then if you want to survive, you'll use anything at your disposal that can help you do that, right? Then use me. I'm here, and I want to help and support, you'd be a bad survivalist if you didn't make use of that for as long as you had me around.
Relying on others becomes a liability. Can't depend on others for your own survival. Something will happen; their weakness will kill them or they'll betray for their own survival. No. Only good way to do something is on your own.
You should keep that in mind. One day you'll learn it the hard way if you don't.
[What Al didn't know was that despite the truth of Max's argument it was also simply easier to push the boy away from him rather than get attached. If he didn't then he would feel the need to protect Al. And he couldn't afford to make that mistake again.]
[This goes against Al's philosophies, but he's trying a soft approach in the hope it will work.]
Don't think of me as a friend, or even as an ally, just as a tool to be used. That way you don't have to worry about depending on me, you just use me and the help cooperating with me can give for as long as it lasts.
[Which will be forever.]
And if it doesn't last, then it's just like a tool breaking. It's nothing to be upset over, or-- Just keep in contact with me and share information, that's not so hard, right?
[He's relying on the spark of something inside Max to start caring through exposure, and Al can gently and slowly move him over from reluctant ally into friend. If it has to start this way, then Al will take it, he just won't plan on 'breaking' ever.]
[Max made a little rumbling sound in the back of his throat. There were many ways it could be interpreted but Max's thoughts were centered around uncertainty. Had the conversation been with an adult he would have already dismissed everything said, lied in an effort to get the person to stop bothering him, and never looked back. But with Al as young as he sounded and acted, Max's instincts were nudged in a different direction.
Was this what it would have felt like to be a parent had his child not died?
Such thoughts were quickly swept away and ignored.]
Stop talking. I'll share useful information. [He made an unamused sound.] I've already agreed to that. Just. Stop. Talking. [Like that. No more talk of being a tool. It's not helping, Alphonse.]
[He hates this, he hates that Max is so spooked by the thought of even an ally that it has to be approached this way.]
Mm, okay. But... if we're going to keep in touch about information, maybe we should try to keep a regular contact, okay? It doesn't have to be every day, or even every other day.
[He's pushing for every little victory he can get.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He grunted rudely.]
Don't. We're not friends.
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[He doesn't sound at all put out about that, he has already long deduced that Max is deeply troubled and needs help, so most things he says just roll off Al like water from a duck's back.]
Or, at least, you're my friend even if I'm not yours. That's not really a decision you get to make for me. I like you, and I worry about you because I want you to be safe.
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Max made another rumbling sound in his throat.]
Ahhhhh ah ah. I don't need this. Worry about yourself.
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[He hesitates. This might be pushing a bit far too fast, but he tries to keep his voice soothing in order to mitigate his words.]
I don't know why you think you have to be alone, but you don't. I'll be here if you need someone for anything, any time.
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Easier just to ignore you.
[And it would be. Except, perhaps, if Glory opposed. But he tended to ignore the voice of the dead as much as possible, too.]
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[The question is deceptively mild. Al believes that Max, somewhere deep down, does want to have friends and allies. If he truly had no wish for it, and it was easier to ignore others, then why hadn't he before now?]
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Al waits for a full minute, but he isn't going to give up that easily, he's not going to give up at all if he has his way.]
That's childish, you know?
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Enough!
[It's a sharp bark. For the first time his tone truly revealing how feral he could be.]
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No, it's not enough.
[His voice get a little gentler, as if soothing a spooked animal.]
I don't know why it scares you to be cared about, but you can't stop it just by pushing me away. I'm going to worry about you, and I'm going to try and help you if I can, because you are my friend even if I'm not yours.
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Stay away. Easier.
[Now do you get it, Alphonse? He doesn't want another ghost. Leave him alone.]
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Max, I promise I won't die. I've got too much to do to let myself die before it gets done... besides, my brother would never let me live it down if I died and left him alone.
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[His voice was calmer now but it kept its hard edge. This wasn't a warning or threat but an observation. Sometimes it was just better not to make a promise when it couldn't be kept.]
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I won't let myself die, don't you feel that way? Survival is the only option. Don't you think you can make promises to survive if your will is strong enough?
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No. It doesn't work that way.
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[It takes all his self control to ask this question calmly, instead of giving into the irritation and fear rising in his chest. Max is so hopeless, it truly terrifies Al.]
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[He isn't going to argue the promise any more, he'll dial it back a little and try for baby steps.]
Then if you want to survive, you'll use anything at your disposal that can help you do that, right? Then use me. I'm here, and I want to help and support, you'd be a bad survivalist if you didn't make use of that for as long as you had me around.
[Which, unspoken, is forever in Al's head.]
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Relying on others becomes a liability. Can't depend on others for your own survival. Something will happen; their weakness will kill them or they'll betray for their own survival. No. Only good way to do something is on your own.
You should keep that in mind. One day you'll learn it the hard way if you don't.
[What Al didn't know was that despite the truth of Max's argument it was also simply easier to push the boy away from him rather than get attached. If he didn't then he would feel the need to protect Al. And he couldn't afford to make that mistake again.]
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[This goes against Al's philosophies, but he's trying a soft approach in the hope it will work.]
Don't think of me as a friend, or even as an ally, just as a tool to be used. That way you don't have to worry about depending on me, you just use me and the help cooperating with me can give for as long as it lasts.
[Which will be forever.]
And if it doesn't last, then it's just like a tool breaking. It's nothing to be upset over, or-- Just keep in contact with me and share information, that's not so hard, right?
[He's relying on the spark of something inside Max to start caring through exposure, and Al can gently and slowly move him over from reluctant ally into friend. If it has to start this way, then Al will take it, he just won't plan on 'breaking' ever.]
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Was this what it would have felt like to be a parent had his child not died?
Such thoughts were quickly swept away and ignored.]
Stop talking. I'll share useful information. [He made an unamused sound.] I've already agreed to that. Just. Stop. Talking. [Like that. No more talk of being a tool. It's not helping, Alphonse.]
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Mm, okay. But... if we're going to keep in touch about information, maybe we should try to keep a regular contact, okay? It doesn't have to be every day, or even every other day.
[He's pushing for every little victory he can get.]
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Fine.
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[He won't bother Max any more for tonight, not when he's pushed and won a small victory. So he just finally hangs up to leave Max in peace.]