I found a card like the one you showed on the network. It turned my tablet off for a few seconds. [-long enough for a very heavy and distinct oh shit feeling to pool in his stomach.] After that it had downloaded a new program called Keys. My card was a different color from yours though. I don't know if they all do this. Thought you'd like to know.
[It's a thoughtful hum. It's follow-up is another noncommittal noise that sounds suspiciously like an affirmative "Mmhm" and has a note of thankfulness to it. Probably as close as it got with this one.
A folder. I assume it's to store passwords. I found the card in what I can only assume was a teacher's home. I was notified I then had a key to a "Lounge". Putting two and two together, now I've got a key to a teacher's lounge in that elementary school. @Admin's putting Easter eggs out there for us to entertain ourselves with.
There's no promise your tablet will turn back on if you try the same thing just like there's no promise the "key" even works, or that there's going to be anything worthwhile behind the locked door.
[That was a lot of words, but most of them were useful so he managed to get through all of them. Even if they weren't immediately useful the mystery of it was intriguing. And tempting.]
Hmm. I understand.
[Again, no thank you but he was grateful despite his lack of saying so.]
[Everyone seemed to want to know what everyone else was finding so this was almost suspicious at first--but after a moment Max grunts an affirmative anyway. If the person on the other end was simply keeping false hope at bay then Max wouldn't blame him.
Anyway, it gave Max one less thing to have to worry about. Sharing wasn't his thing. Let the other share or not as he saw fit. No skin off his back.]
[Following this transaction, Clayton figures Max won't want to discuss the details of the video, but is still stubborn enough to contact him and show his appreciation for getting it instead.]
Max,
Glad you were able to get the SD card to work. Thanks for sharing the video--it's a good reminder of what we're searching for.
[It's been a few days since he's talked to Max, and Al has been worried about him. He doesn't doubt that the stoic man is more than capable of taking care of himself from a survival standpoint, but there is something very broken about his world view and that touches Al deep inside.
So he waits until the rest of his group have settled down for the night, and slips off a little way with his tablet. He's decided, happier for making the decision, that he won't give up on Max. He'll keep coming back, and keep proving someone cares, until he can help even a little.]
[The worse thing about the nights here in Norfinbury was that the cold and locked doors meant staying firmly in place for the entire night. It caused Max to pace and search the premises repeatedly like a caged animal, nothing to do without his car to work on or travel through the night. The tablet relieved some of that idle tension by checking it once he got locked in for the night but Max slept little and the nights were long no matter how many hours they actually lasted. It just wasn't his nature to be so idle for so long. In his world not moving typically meant death.
Eventually he'd settle down for a minimum amount of sleep. But at the best of times that was just after midnight and at the worst it was already close to dawn. And he never wasted time sleeping when he could get back on the move.
The random beeping of his tablet that night was almost a welcome distraction. He peered at the device curiously, trying to find what the notification was for. He'd had a message in his personal inbox a few times by now so at least it didn't take him too long to figure it out.
He grunted noncommittally upon seeing the message and almost ignored it. Yet the distraction was desirable as the "building" he was locked in for the night was barely one room and gave little distraction for the night. Besides, it could be something useful like last time. Doubtful considering the source, but a possibility. He'd take it.
He finally replied after a few minutes time had passed.]
[For a long few minutes Al grew more and more concerned that something had happened to Max since they last spoke. Perhaps he had got hurt, or worse, or... And then Al would be proven a liar, after being unable to protect him and help him find some small sliver of hope for himself.
So when Max does finally reply, Al can't help but let out a sigh of pure relief that hisses down the tablet like static.]
Me too.
[Wow, how unnecessary. Of course he's awake.]
I just wanted to check in, I've been worried about you.
[The word came out before Max even realized he was going to speak and unfortunately the recording was on-going at the moment. He made a rumbly sound in his throat (and looked away though that wasn't visible on the blank screen).]
[He decides to focus on this for now. Max is obviously used to survival, he sounds surprised that anyone could even question this, but he obviously isn't used to other people caring one way or the other if he lives or dies.]
You and I are friends, and I worry about my friends.
[Max isn't going to be consulted on this, he has no choice, he has made a friend.]
[Max hasn't considered the usage of the word "friend" since... well, in a very long time. People only tend to die if they become associated with him. He doesn't want any friends.
[He doesn't sound at all put out about that, he has already long deduced that Max is deeply troubled and needs help, so most things he says just roll off Al like water from a duck's back.]
Or, at least, you're my friend even if I'm not yours. That's not really a decision you get to make for me. I like you, and I worry about you because I want you to be safe.
[There was a lengthy pause of silence over the line. Then the sound of Max shifting around, rearranging his weight entirely. (An awkward motion, were it visible, as if avoiding.) What was up with this kid?]
Easier just to ignore you.
[And it would be. Except, perhaps, if Glory opposed. But he tended to ignore the voice of the dead as much as possible, too.]
[The question is deceptively mild. Al believes that Max, somewhere deep down, does want to have friends and allies. If he truly had no wish for it, and it was easier to ignore others, then why hadn't he before now?]
[Well to be fair he meant to hang up on Al. Unfortunately, Max could disconnect all he wanted from a phone call but he couldn't block text or audio messages completely from his tablet. Even if it was an option he didn't know how to do it.]
Enough!
[It's a sharp bark. For the first time his tone truly revealing how feral he could be.]
[It doesn't surprise him, not with the clues Max has already given about how broken he is under the surface, and nor does it scare him. It just makes him more determined to help if he can, because this kind of pain in someone else makes him ache inside.]
No, it's not enough.
[His voice get a little gentler, as if soothing a spooked animal.]
I don't know why it scares you to be cared about, but you can't stop it just by pushing me away. I'm going to worry about you, and I'm going to try and help you if I can, because you are my friend even if I'm not yours.
[His heart twists in his chest. Poor Max, how many people must he have loved and lost to think that any friend is doomed to die and haunt him? Al's voice gets even gentler, sympathy throbbing through every word.]
Max, I promise I won't die. I've got too much to do to let myself die before it gets done... besides, my brother would never let me live it down if I died and left him alone.
[His voice was calmer now but it kept its hard edge. This wasn't a warning or threat but an observation. Sometimes it was just better not to make a promise when it couldn't be kept.]
[He sighs, but he's not going to back down. Years of arguing with Ed, and determinedly forging forwards towards a seemingly impossible goal, has made Al completely stubborn in situations like this.]
I won't let myself die, don't you feel that way? Survival is the only option. Don't you think you can make promises to survive if your will is strong enough?
[It takes all his self control to ask this question calmly, instead of giving into the irritation and fear rising in his chest. Max is so hopeless, it truly terrifies Al.]
[He isn't going to argue the promise any more, he'll dial it back a little and try for baby steps.]
Then if you want to survive, you'll use anything at your disposal that can help you do that, right? Then use me. I'm here, and I want to help and support, you'd be a bad survivalist if you didn't make use of that for as long as you had me around.
Relying on others becomes a liability. Can't depend on others for your own survival. Something will happen; their weakness will kill them or they'll betray for their own survival. No. Only good way to do something is on your own.
You should keep that in mind. One day you'll learn it the hard way if you don't.
[What Al didn't know was that despite the truth of Max's argument it was also simply easier to push the boy away from him rather than get attached. If he didn't then he would feel the need to protect Al. And he couldn't afford to make that mistake again.]
[This goes against Al's philosophies, but he's trying a soft approach in the hope it will work.]
Don't think of me as a friend, or even as an ally, just as a tool to be used. That way you don't have to worry about depending on me, you just use me and the help cooperating with me can give for as long as it lasts.
[Which will be forever.]
And if it doesn't last, then it's just like a tool breaking. It's nothing to be upset over, or-- Just keep in contact with me and share information, that's not so hard, right?
[He's relying on the spark of something inside Max to start caring through exposure, and Al can gently and slowly move him over from reluctant ally into friend. If it has to start this way, then Al will take it, he just won't plan on 'breaking' ever.]
[Max made a little rumbling sound in the back of his throat. There were many ways it could be interpreted but Max's thoughts were centered around uncertainty. Had the conversation been with an adult he would have already dismissed everything said, lied in an effort to get the person to stop bothering him, and never looked back. But with Al as young as he sounded and acted, Max's instincts were nudged in a different direction.
Was this what it would have felt like to be a parent had his child not died?
Such thoughts were quickly swept away and ignored.]
Stop talking. I'll share useful information. [He made an unamused sound.] I've already agreed to that. Just. Stop. Talking. [Like that. No more talk of being a tool. It's not helping, Alphonse.]
[He hates this, he hates that Max is so spooked by the thought of even an ally that it has to be approached this way.]
Mm, okay. But... if we're going to keep in touch about information, maybe we should try to keep a regular contact, okay? It doesn't have to be every day, or even every other day.
[He's pushing for every little victory he can get.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text. ID: aldraper. 004-Night.
Voice; ID: max
[It's a thoughtful hum. It's follow-up is another noncommittal noise that sounds suspiciously like an affirmative "Mmhm" and has a note of thankfulness to it. Probably as close as it got with this one.
He does have a question though.]
What is the program 'Keys'?
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A folder. I assume it's to store passwords. I found the card in what I can only assume was a teacher's home. I was notified I then had a key to a "Lounge". Putting two and two together, now I've got a key to a teacher's lounge in that elementary school. @Admin's putting Easter eggs out there for us to entertain ourselves with.
There's no promise your tablet will turn back on if you try the same thing just like there's no promise the "key" even works, or that there's going to be anything worthwhile behind the locked door.
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Hmm. I understand.
[Again, no thank you but he was grateful despite his lack of saying so.]
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Do me a favor. Don't tell others what I found. It doesn't mean anything yet. I'll let you know if the key ever works.
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Anyway, it gave Max one less thing to have to worry about. Sharing wasn't his thing. Let the other share or not as he saw fit. No skin off his back.]
day 004, night - text - @claytonator
Max,
Glad you were able to get the SD card to work. Thanks for sharing the video--it's a good reminder of what we're searching for.
Stay safe, and keep in touch if you can.
- Clayton
voice @LELRIC; 015; night; private
So he waits until the rest of his group have settled down for the night, and slips off a little way with his tablet. He's decided, happier for making the decision, that he won't give up on Max. He'll keep coming back, and keep proving someone cares, until he can help even a little.]
Max, are you awake?
Voice; ID: max
Eventually he'd settle down for a minimum amount of sleep. But at the best of times that was just after midnight and at the worst it was already close to dawn. And he never wasted time sleeping when he could get back on the move.
The random beeping of his tablet that night was almost a welcome distraction. He peered at the device curiously, trying to find what the notification was for. He'd had a message in his personal inbox a few times by now so at least it didn't take him too long to figure it out.
He grunted noncommittally upon seeing the message and almost ignored it. Yet the distraction was desirable as the "building" he was locked in for the night was barely one room and gave little distraction for the night. Besides, it could be something useful like last time. Doubtful considering the source, but a possibility. He'd take it.
He finally replied after a few minutes time had passed.]
Yes.
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So when Max does finally reply, Al can't help but let out a sigh of pure relief that hisses down the tablet like static.]
Me too.
[Wow, how unnecessary. Of course he's awake.]
I just wanted to check in, I've been worried about you.
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[The word came out before Max even realized he was going to speak and unfortunately the recording was on-going at the moment. He made a rumbly sound in his throat (and looked away though that wasn't visible on the blank screen).]
I'm fine. Hm. I survive.
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[He decides to focus on this for now. Max is obviously used to survival, he sounds surprised that anyone could even question this, but he obviously isn't used to other people caring one way or the other if he lives or dies.]
You and I are friends, and I worry about my friends.
[Max isn't going to be consulted on this, he has no choice, he has made a friend.]
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He grunted rudely.]
Don't. We're not friends.
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[He doesn't sound at all put out about that, he has already long deduced that Max is deeply troubled and needs help, so most things he says just roll off Al like water from a duck's back.]
Or, at least, you're my friend even if I'm not yours. That's not really a decision you get to make for me. I like you, and I worry about you because I want you to be safe.
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Max made another rumbling sound in his throat.]
Ahhhhh ah ah. I don't need this. Worry about yourself.
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[He hesitates. This might be pushing a bit far too fast, but he tries to keep his voice soothing in order to mitigate his words.]
I don't know why you think you have to be alone, but you don't. I'll be here if you need someone for anything, any time.
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Easier just to ignore you.
[And it would be. Except, perhaps, if Glory opposed. But he tended to ignore the voice of the dead as much as possible, too.]
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[The question is deceptively mild. Al believes that Max, somewhere deep down, does want to have friends and allies. If he truly had no wish for it, and it was easier to ignore others, then why hadn't he before now?]
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Al waits for a full minute, but he isn't going to give up that easily, he's not going to give up at all if he has his way.]
That's childish, you know?
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Enough!
[It's a sharp bark. For the first time his tone truly revealing how feral he could be.]
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No, it's not enough.
[His voice get a little gentler, as if soothing a spooked animal.]
I don't know why it scares you to be cared about, but you can't stop it just by pushing me away. I'm going to worry about you, and I'm going to try and help you if I can, because you are my friend even if I'm not yours.
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Stay away. Easier.
[Now do you get it, Alphonse? He doesn't want another ghost. Leave him alone.]
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Max, I promise I won't die. I've got too much to do to let myself die before it gets done... besides, my brother would never let me live it down if I died and left him alone.
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[His voice was calmer now but it kept its hard edge. This wasn't a warning or threat but an observation. Sometimes it was just better not to make a promise when it couldn't be kept.]
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I won't let myself die, don't you feel that way? Survival is the only option. Don't you think you can make promises to survive if your will is strong enough?
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No. It doesn't work that way.
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[It takes all his self control to ask this question calmly, instead of giving into the irritation and fear rising in his chest. Max is so hopeless, it truly terrifies Al.]
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[He isn't going to argue the promise any more, he'll dial it back a little and try for baby steps.]
Then if you want to survive, you'll use anything at your disposal that can help you do that, right? Then use me. I'm here, and I want to help and support, you'd be a bad survivalist if you didn't make use of that for as long as you had me around.
[Which, unspoken, is forever in Al's head.]
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Relying on others becomes a liability. Can't depend on others for your own survival. Something will happen; their weakness will kill them or they'll betray for their own survival. No. Only good way to do something is on your own.
You should keep that in mind. One day you'll learn it the hard way if you don't.
[What Al didn't know was that despite the truth of Max's argument it was also simply easier to push the boy away from him rather than get attached. If he didn't then he would feel the need to protect Al. And he couldn't afford to make that mistake again.]
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[This goes against Al's philosophies, but he's trying a soft approach in the hope it will work.]
Don't think of me as a friend, or even as an ally, just as a tool to be used. That way you don't have to worry about depending on me, you just use me and the help cooperating with me can give for as long as it lasts.
[Which will be forever.]
And if it doesn't last, then it's just like a tool breaking. It's nothing to be upset over, or-- Just keep in contact with me and share information, that's not so hard, right?
[He's relying on the spark of something inside Max to start caring through exposure, and Al can gently and slowly move him over from reluctant ally into friend. If it has to start this way, then Al will take it, he just won't plan on 'breaking' ever.]
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Was this what it would have felt like to be a parent had his child not died?
Such thoughts were quickly swept away and ignored.]
Stop talking. I'll share useful information. [He made an unamused sound.] I've already agreed to that. Just. Stop. Talking. [Like that. No more talk of being a tool. It's not helping, Alphonse.]
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Mm, okay. But... if we're going to keep in touch about information, maybe we should try to keep a regular contact, okay? It doesn't have to be every day, or even every other day.
[He's pushing for every little victory he can get.]
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Fine.
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[He won't bother Max any more for tonight, not when he's pushed and won a small victory. So he just finally hangs up to leave Max in peace.]