[His heart twists in his chest. Poor Max, how many people must he have loved and lost to think that any friend is doomed to die and haunt him? Al's voice gets even gentler, sympathy throbbing through every word.]
Max, I promise I won't die. I've got too much to do to let myself die before it gets done... besides, my brother would never let me live it down if I died and left him alone.
[His voice was calmer now but it kept its hard edge. This wasn't a warning or threat but an observation. Sometimes it was just better not to make a promise when it couldn't be kept.]
[He sighs, but he's not going to back down. Years of arguing with Ed, and determinedly forging forwards towards a seemingly impossible goal, has made Al completely stubborn in situations like this.]
I won't let myself die, don't you feel that way? Survival is the only option. Don't you think you can make promises to survive if your will is strong enough?
[It takes all his self control to ask this question calmly, instead of giving into the irritation and fear rising in his chest. Max is so hopeless, it truly terrifies Al.]
[He isn't going to argue the promise any more, he'll dial it back a little and try for baby steps.]
Then if you want to survive, you'll use anything at your disposal that can help you do that, right? Then use me. I'm here, and I want to help and support, you'd be a bad survivalist if you didn't make use of that for as long as you had me around.
Relying on others becomes a liability. Can't depend on others for your own survival. Something will happen; their weakness will kill them or they'll betray for their own survival. No. Only good way to do something is on your own.
You should keep that in mind. One day you'll learn it the hard way if you don't.
[What Al didn't know was that despite the truth of Max's argument it was also simply easier to push the boy away from him rather than get attached. If he didn't then he would feel the need to protect Al. And he couldn't afford to make that mistake again.]
[This goes against Al's philosophies, but he's trying a soft approach in the hope it will work.]
Don't think of me as a friend, or even as an ally, just as a tool to be used. That way you don't have to worry about depending on me, you just use me and the help cooperating with me can give for as long as it lasts.
[Which will be forever.]
And if it doesn't last, then it's just like a tool breaking. It's nothing to be upset over, or-- Just keep in contact with me and share information, that's not so hard, right?
[He's relying on the spark of something inside Max to start caring through exposure, and Al can gently and slowly move him over from reluctant ally into friend. If it has to start this way, then Al will take it, he just won't plan on 'breaking' ever.]
[Max made a little rumbling sound in the back of his throat. There were many ways it could be interpreted but Max's thoughts were centered around uncertainty. Had the conversation been with an adult he would have already dismissed everything said, lied in an effort to get the person to stop bothering him, and never looked back. But with Al as young as he sounded and acted, Max's instincts were nudged in a different direction.
Was this what it would have felt like to be a parent had his child not died?
Such thoughts were quickly swept away and ignored.]
Stop talking. I'll share useful information. [He made an unamused sound.] I've already agreed to that. Just. Stop. Talking. [Like that. No more talk of being a tool. It's not helping, Alphonse.]
[He hates this, he hates that Max is so spooked by the thought of even an ally that it has to be approached this way.]
Mm, okay. But... if we're going to keep in touch about information, maybe we should try to keep a regular contact, okay? It doesn't have to be every day, or even every other day.
[He's pushing for every little victory he can get.]
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Max, I promise I won't die. I've got too much to do to let myself die before it gets done... besides, my brother would never let me live it down if I died and left him alone.
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[His voice was calmer now but it kept its hard edge. This wasn't a warning or threat but an observation. Sometimes it was just better not to make a promise when it couldn't be kept.]
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I won't let myself die, don't you feel that way? Survival is the only option. Don't you think you can make promises to survive if your will is strong enough?
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No. It doesn't work that way.
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[It takes all his self control to ask this question calmly, instead of giving into the irritation and fear rising in his chest. Max is so hopeless, it truly terrifies Al.]
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[He isn't going to argue the promise any more, he'll dial it back a little and try for baby steps.]
Then if you want to survive, you'll use anything at your disposal that can help you do that, right? Then use me. I'm here, and I want to help and support, you'd be a bad survivalist if you didn't make use of that for as long as you had me around.
[Which, unspoken, is forever in Al's head.]
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Relying on others becomes a liability. Can't depend on others for your own survival. Something will happen; their weakness will kill them or they'll betray for their own survival. No. Only good way to do something is on your own.
You should keep that in mind. One day you'll learn it the hard way if you don't.
[What Al didn't know was that despite the truth of Max's argument it was also simply easier to push the boy away from him rather than get attached. If he didn't then he would feel the need to protect Al. And he couldn't afford to make that mistake again.]
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[This goes against Al's philosophies, but he's trying a soft approach in the hope it will work.]
Don't think of me as a friend, or even as an ally, just as a tool to be used. That way you don't have to worry about depending on me, you just use me and the help cooperating with me can give for as long as it lasts.
[Which will be forever.]
And if it doesn't last, then it's just like a tool breaking. It's nothing to be upset over, or-- Just keep in contact with me and share information, that's not so hard, right?
[He's relying on the spark of something inside Max to start caring through exposure, and Al can gently and slowly move him over from reluctant ally into friend. If it has to start this way, then Al will take it, he just won't plan on 'breaking' ever.]
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Was this what it would have felt like to be a parent had his child not died?
Such thoughts were quickly swept away and ignored.]
Stop talking. I'll share useful information. [He made an unamused sound.] I've already agreed to that. Just. Stop. Talking. [Like that. No more talk of being a tool. It's not helping, Alphonse.]
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Mm, okay. But... if we're going to keep in touch about information, maybe we should try to keep a regular contact, okay? It doesn't have to be every day, or even every other day.
[He's pushing for every little victory he can get.]
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Fine.
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[He won't bother Max any more for tonight, not when he's pushed and won a small victory. So he just finally hangs up to leave Max in peace.]